((Today's story is brought to you in microwavable form, complete with styrofoam and fanfic flavor packet.))


In the early-late-mid-afternoon, Jan stepped off a charter bus onto the bustling streets of downtown Seattle. He shouldered his black duffle bag and gave the air a wayward sniff with his upturned nose. The air smelled of adventure.



Adventure and fish! Jan's ears twitched as he spied the shore side marketplace. Feeling a tad hungry, he felt through his coat pocket for some loose change... no luck. Jan turned from the market and headed in an arbitrary direction, wondering where his cousin's apartment might be. He would've used a pay-phone, had he any change, but the only resource available was the wisdom of the passing locals.

A man stood with his back to him. Jan tapped him on the shoulder, asking, "Excuse me, sir, might you know where Bobblston Street is?" The man turned to him with a vacant smile.



... To Be Continued?

-Th3 J3sT3r.

The sun shown brightly over the poorlydrawnbutstillestablishingcityshot. The whole of Seattle seemed to glow with a cheery light. If you looked directly at it, you could probably see the sun's jaunty grin. Most people down below didn't do that though; their parents always told them not to. A select few did but they tend to where heavy soda-pop glasses nowadays. Regardless, it was sunny.



Whoosh! Zooming in for a new establishing shot!
Up on the fire escape of particularly large fictional building in a miscellaneous region of Seattle, sat a single figure with a cat in his hands.



"Listen, Kitty,"

Selt dangled the orange creature off the edge of the 47th floor.



"I'm sorry, but you've disappointed me one too many times. I asked for Jim's head on a platter, but you just kept bringing me dead fish. You've disrespected me, and I can't let that go."

Just then...



Selt looked down. "Welcome to Corneria" meant "noobie", and "noobie" meant "abusable."

Besides that, Selt was pretty bored of harassing cats, so any new stimulus was a good one.

Sure, somehow, it managed to be a bright and sunny day in Seattle, but to Matt, there was an angry rain cloud of doom over his head as he walked down the street towards the market.



"Stupid Old Man Williams....so I pulled the Pushy-Thing and pushed the Pull-em and caused the salmon canning machine tok blow up?! He should have fired stupid 'called in sick' Paulie for not covering his shift! Now I gotta find Paulie and pound him into a pulp, the bum...not to mention another fricken' job..."

He paused for a moment, taking his hands out of his picket. From someplace across the street he could hear somebody shout "Welcome to Corneria!" but to him that meant nothing. But the cat that suddently dropped into his hands did...



"Jerk senses...tingling.....

He looked up. He couldn't see anything. He looked across the street to the random n00b foaming at the mouth (or so it appeared) while the square man continued to shout "Welcome to Corneria!"





"People dropping cats from the sky...n00bs being harassed by square men...I don't know what this world is coming to, but NOBODY can be a bigger jerk than me on my turf and get away with it!"

((No, I don't want to imagine if truely a cat can survive a drop from a 47th floor. Humor me. >_>))

"Welcome to Corneria!" :D

Jan decided this man was rather confused. He composed himself and politely asked again, "I'm sorry sir, I asked where Bobbleston Street is?"



...Jan was definitely confused at this point. "This interaction is oddly familiar. Could this man be..? No. Let's not go there," thought Jan. Trying to be direct as possible while avoiding the strange man's soulless gaze, Jan demanded: "BOBBLESTON STREET. WHERE IS AT?" Instead of answering, however, the man simply smiled. Wobbling to and fro, he drifted slowly to the side... Jan felt terror grip at his heart.



... D8

"HOLY SHIT," blasphemed Jan. This was bad. At this rate, he would likely become surrounded. Turning to pick up his bag, Jan quickly abandoned all attempts at communication and tried to flee. As he turned, however, he realized that no such option was available to him...



It was far too late.



TO BE CONTINUED?!?!?!

Selt looked down, wiggling his feet.



Now, the troublesome business of getting down.







Yeah, this could take a while.

Like, another round or so.



((OOC: Those are some of the ugliest Selt drawings I've ever done. Huzzah.))

((Ugly! Hah! Let me show you ugly drawings- I'm having a "uncaring-blah" Hump day....XD))

Matt only stared across the street in confusion for a moment at how in the hell a man could muliply that quickly....if at all..

"Oh dear...." said a squeaky sounding voice from down on the ground. Matt looked down.



Matt would have right about now done a double take, had there not already been raining cats and square men about. So, Matt simply muttered "Stupid n00bs" and picked up the Servbot, tossing it in the direction of the multiplying mess...





"Huh...well....that works better in MvC2 I would guess...."

Matt was out of ideas. Besides, he was more amused by the sight he saw before him than actually saving the guy.


((OOC No2: Kobun Frenzy is one of Servbot's special moves in MvC2, FYI....like...a million Servbots come rushing at the opponent and things...>_>...))

Somewhere, deep below the pile of NPCs, Jan drew a shallow breath:

"...DURR."

As the tiny servbots ran above his aching form, Jan thought about his trip to Washington thus far. He had exited the bus, stepped up to the first person he saw, and been totally ganked. Clearly, Seattle was far too hardcore for him... the level curve was ridiculous, and nearly everything aggroed with the slightest provocation. Fearing the end was near, Jan felt scared...



"No!" From somewhere deep inside, Jan drew up his last reserves of strength. "I will not die here. It's just silly, to be honest." Drawing himself into a fetal cocoon, Jan prepared himself for a last ditch effort to free himself. His ears twitched, and a growl came from deep in his throat.



"If nothing else," decided Jan, "I'll live until I can find my cousin..."



"...and kick his ass for dragging me to this stupid place!"


TBC

-Th3 J3sT3r.

Selt continued his descent. Down to floor 38. Thrilling!



(Maybe someone should explain to him how to used the stairs. Oh well, let's just watch him struggle instead.)

Unfortunately, halfway down to floor 37 Selt slipped on a particularly grease covered guardrail. (Remember kids, don't eat Fatty Foods on Harmless Handrails!)



Predictably, he fell.



Even more predictably, he ended up crushing Jan.






((OOC: Experimenting with styles here. That's why Selt looks possessed in panel two.))

Two things happened when that blue-haired meteor fell from the sky onto Jan's impresionable skull:

First, Jan got a nasty bump on his head... and a nose-bleed.



Second, a little crystal of hatred grew in Jan's belly.



Whenever he thought of his new friend, Jan's pointy little hate-crystal sparkled quietly. Like a diamond.

He pulled a raggy shirt from his bag and started mopping up the nose-blood. Inspecting the condition of the pot-headed skydiver, Jan watched as the last of the robo-midgets scurried down the sidewalk. "One day," decided Jan, "I will use them as fishing bait. To catch robo-sharks."

He kicked Selt's crumpled form: "Are you alive, sir?"


TBC!!

-Th3 J3sT3r.

hopes postage works out in alien forum pchew!

Just then an only-until-now unnoticed lump of bloody produce from the mass of robo-midget massacre tugged Jan's pantleg...



He surged upwards from the ground



and shook the blood off himself...



with much experience... That there's a Camaro!

"Hey, buddy..." tugga tugga away on Jan again "Seen a cat around here?"

Of course, what Selt heard from Jan was actually:



And in a truely Terry Bogart-esque manner, he responded in kind.





((OOC: Sorry for responding in such a similar style as the previous post; I left my tablet at home, and I'm not about to spend twice as much time trying to make it look half as good. That's my way of the improv-ninja!))

Matt smoothly walked over across the street, lighting a cig as he went along...because, it goes along with the rest of the anti-social style he's got going on *As if fictional characters need to worry about lung cancer!*. He stopped in back of the ruckus going on.



"Well, you guys are pretty amusing, but uh...if you hadn't noticed in your odd squabbles..."

As Matt said this, perhaps you could hear the sun cry out in fear as ominous grey clouds began to fill the sky, and eventually, as if magic, it began to rain and thunder. (my, what a surprise in Seattle...)....what could be the problem?




"Somehow we all ignored the completely obvious boss monster hovering above our very heads...."





((My...that was magical and butchering at the same time! Sure, I suck at copying other character designs at 2:00 am+, but at least I had fun drawing...eh....yeah...and parodying more crap. If you REALLY need a reason for the MP/HP *but seriously, it's just fluff!*:

Jan: A)The "n00b" in Seattle, B) He had a Servbot/Corneria men attack on him C) Selt fell on him even after his wicked powerup. =P
Selt: He fell....and then he used special move "Wax-On-Roof!" o.o
Camero: Uh...this one was random. Honest!
Matt: He's a badass guy. Does he look like a wizard with tons of MP? ))

A hailstorm of words rained down on Jan's eardrums: "Hey, buddy, seen WAX-ON-ROOF around here squabbles BOOM above our very heads?!"

"...What you say?" Jan would have tried to filter out the nonsense, but he guessed the result would be akin to a silent film. "There is nothing in Seattle," thought Jan, "but silliness."



Somehow, the phrase "boss monster" floated to the surface of his consciousness. Looking up, Jan examined the fanged, ferocious fish. This day was going well... perhaps later he could challenge the tarrasque in arm wrestling. So far, Jan had been trampled, harassed, flanked, smattered in blood (his own and otherwise), and now confronted by the hideous stench of one whopper of a flounder. His patience was wearing very thin.

"I've had enough stimulus for one day," said Jan. "These random acts of violence have got to stop..." ... and what better way, he thought to himself, than with one, final, gratuitously epic act of violence? :D



... preparing spell...

-Th3 J3sT3r.

Unprocessed fishticks, you say?? Zounds! Twas time for Camaro's time to shine... like a WWII veteran's bald spot!
But how?



"Explosions. :D"
Somebody watched Mythbusters yesterday! Upon delving into his person Camaro found... no bombs.....



"bomb... chus??? Accursed rampant rrring ridlin rats! Thank good gravy god they explode!"
And so, he seethingly set a single bombchu deep downtown into demise.



RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

The battle raged in the lesser known areas of Seattle with giant anthropomophized fish versus actual player characters versus various NPC's (who had at this point been collectively forgotten by the many artists). Fish claw after fish claw was dodged as not a single attack by the player controlled team actually landed. There was tension in the air. So very much tension. So very very much fish smelling tension.

Selt of course, was oblivious. He was, in fact, unaware of the giant fish. The poorly drawn green haired adolecent had found himself a different source of amusement.



An lo! Did it look crunchy!





((OOC: He looks like he's about to fall over in that last panel. Selt vs. Gravity! Fight!))

Matt smirked once again, having finished his smoke. Now it was time to rule. And look! The fish's random and mostly non-harming attacks on him made him get a Limit Break! Yes-ness!



Here we go! Wolf Fang.....oh, damn those slippery fingers~!





Going....going...gone! And another homerun for Ichiro Suzuki of the Mariners, he's on a streak this season it appears. So needless to say, Matt got pw0ned and smacked far, far away. Your turn.

Finally, after his comrades' many (questionable) attempts, Jan's super-fushigi-summon was ready!



"Phew," Jan sighed. "Now then: COME FORTH..."



"... BONUS KUN!!"

The tiny punching bag glared up at the ginormous fish. Determined fighting-spirit blazing in his eyes, Bonus Kun's cheeks puffed with glowing POWAR! Taking one hop towards his opponent, Bonus Kun spewed forth his ultimate attack:




WHEN THE SMOKE CLEARS, WHO WILLL BE LEFT STANDING??@?!!1

TBC-Th3 J3sT3r.

-Th3 J3sT3r.

Selt chewed vigourously on his new meal. It was crunchy, funky, gunpowdery, and delicious. ((WARNING! Bombchus not gauranteed to be either gunpowdery or delicious!))



Of course, Selt soon found that there are often reprocussions to eating foreign (and mostly in-edible) videogame references.



Severe reprocussions.



Let me show you a diagram of exactly how severe.



Yup. Let this be a lesson to you kids out there.




((OOC: Oh god my mom's trying to release the turtles into my room.))

Well, at the velocity which he was flying through the air, Matt had little cause to ponder the meaning of life or Matrix Doj anything.

And that blue haired kid on the ground?? Egad, what the hell was he thinking, he was some sort of freakin dragon??? Matt made a quick mental note to wring that guy's neck later...that is, if he didn't get burned to a crisp before hand.



But wait! Look! An item box!! Despite, yeah, it was another blatent parody, Matt would never question the authority of the item box. The item box meant hope! Matt managed to hit it....



And grab it's precious cargo that would perhaps save his life. After all, those mushrooms are magical, eh?



(What he's saying and who he's saying it to....isn't THAT important. =P)



So as far as he was concerned, he saved his skin for the brief moment....


BUT WHAT ABOUT THAT FISH???

And so, with their combined efforts, our heroes totally rocked the fish out of existence.



After gaining experience points, Jan thought seriously about setting off on his own to find his cousin. "Bobbleston Street really shouldn't be this hard to find," thought Jan.

Just then, however, he made a terrible discovery!





"HUM," said Jan. It seemed that the entire length of Bobbleston Street had been decimated by our heroes' attack. There was a good chance that thousands were killed, including Jan's cousin. Feeling the full weight of his actions, Jan turned to his comrades and resorted to the only option available:

"Can I crash with one of you guys?"


[Bob edit] Continuted over at City Life 2 [/Bob edit]